Why is that when you see your crush with another person that you literally feel crushed?
Two days ago around this time, I lazily laid on my bed pondering on the infinite possibilities in life. For some odd reason, I decided to check my Facebook page via cell phone. The first thing to pop was a picture of my 8-year-crush holding on to a woman. My heart deflated.
Like any female, millions of questions went through my head like, why her and not me? Or "Is that really his girlfriend?" After the questions, you start to slowly reassure yourself that "it's nothing" and that everything is alright. You even start to call yourself silly because this isn't your man; it's just someone you hope or wish for to be your man/significant other. Okay, maybe some of you are not that crazy, but the rest of us are going to keep it real! Anyways, you have that gut feeling that it's going to be alright, but you know that it isn't.
Seeking emotional support, we call our friends – the ones that won’t laugh at us during our time of need. She knows about my crush and knows a couple of things about him. I fish for details hoping that what I saw was just a figure of my imagination. "He's married!" SURPRISE! I didn't see that coming. Nope! I had to recalculate things in my head, backtrack on notes that we (my crush and I) wrote to each other. I was trying to remember the red flags or "he's-not-that-into-you" signs! He never called nor called me back. He rarely emailed me. He was always up for a good flirting session when I initiated it. He looked, but never came to talk to me.
Too many times, we wait at the last minute to act on our true feelings. It took 8 years for me to tell my crush that I was interested in him. Only it was 8 years too late. Even though I did approach him, he never told me that he was not available. Like many women, I shouldn’t have to read the signs of what makes a man “not available” or “not into you”. The same goes for men. In this day and age, body language and words are too different things, right? The words he expressed and the body language that I was reading seemed like he was interested. But when you playback everything in your head, maybe he wasn’t. Where is the age of conversation where simple dialogue can be used to express one’s true intentions? Why do we need complicated signs to read to know what the other is thinking? We should all be like Julius Caesar: “I came, I saw, I asked!” If we did that, maybe the relationship game would be a lot easier to play and less stressful. It sure would have saved me from minor heartache today, yesterday, and tomorrow.